The Cosima Sessions and recent Occupant (original duo) Sessions bring the tally up to 63 songs, with an almost 2:1 hit ratio. Hit criteria being: catchy, short, and not awful.
Be the Ball
You can be the toy
You can be the doll
You can be the ring
With the purple umbrella
You can be the kid
You can be the shit
You can be the pony
You can be the bit
You can have the robot
You can have the mall
You can have the birdhouse
But most essential of all
Be the ball
Be the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ballBe the ball
Be The Ball.
Arboreal Murder (Mehdeh)
See my rings I have 17
See my limbs I have 11
I was felled on the forest floor
My tranquility was severed
He who committeth arboreal murder
Shall never be shaded by Me
And he who committeth arboreal murder
His breath shall never be free
See my leaves
Which once gathered sun
Feel my sap
How sweet it
did
run.....
He who committeth arboreal murder
Shall never be shaded by Me
And he who committeth arboreal murder
His breath shall never be free
Goldfish Bowl
Flutter fishy wiggle fin
Always know just where you bin
Never out yer always in
Yer roundy clowny goldfish bowl
Gobbling up bits of food
We can see where you have poo'd
Captivated in ev'ry way
Bet yer in a crummy mood
Now compare the above (using strict scientific method) with the following lyrics and determine which body of work is superior:
The Koh-i-Noor
Big huge diamond
Sittin on a hat
Stolen from a little kid
For a drunken old bat
Everywhere she went
People saw the hat
And pointed to the diamond
and said "COr' Looka vat!"
Vatsa Koh-I-Noor!
It's reewie sunfin eowse
It's so beggun shoynee
Maegs paypuh jeahws
Maegs paypuh kiw
En do rude fengs
En ek lawk wuffians
En use vuh wud "bling"
Big fat diamond
Big fat UK
Big fat Queen
Koh-i-Noor, Yay
Corn Plant
Kernel
Officer of the grains
Planted
In rich terrain
Golden
Beholding the sun
Tassels
Waving at everyone
Corn plant
Cousin of mine
Where you have a stalk
I have my spine
Sweetness
Growing into pods
Oil
Gift of the Gods
Corn plant
Cousin of mine
Where you have a stalk
I have my spine
Lunch Box
Hollywood Bread
Balony and pickles
Mayo and cheese
And jokes by Don Rickles
Animal crackers
A thermos of soup
Two chips ahoy
And my kid's got the croup
Chiquita Banana
Red rose tea
And A couple of quarters
For the vending machine
I luv lunch
It's that time on the clock
I got my favorite stuff
Right here in my lunch box
(I gotta li'l problem.....
I Like To Eat!)
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2 comments:
Dear Wilhelmina,
As of this day, April 21, 2006, the name Wilhelmenia Cruickshank is placed with all honors on the Occular V.I.P list. Occulist CEOs Q and S. Abdul submitted your name in recognition of your sympathetic readings of the published lyrics. Our greatest hits will be released very soon, along with a fatter compilation of the rest of the best for VIPs.
More strong winds,
Stell'
At Occulist Offices Earlier Today:
In a display of classically exaggerated overstatement and hyperbole to beat the mile high marching band, Ms. Abdul stated, "where we are Occupant, Paul Abdul is the Landlord." Naming Abdul one of the top VIPs in the Occupist Organization.
-Reuters
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